Pool of Tears, Bag of Chips

I skipped yoga this week because I was having too much fun with my kids, my shoulder hurts a little, and it was really snowing and I was going to either miss the beginning and/or have a way too small space in the crowded class, probably near a wall, door, closet, office, etc. Been there. No fun.

I went much later and did 45 minutes of elliptical. Because I was late and well after the after work crowd, I got the most desirable elliptical machine - the one where a giant support column blocks the view of tv showing Fox News. Ah. Listened to the last four tracks of Moody Blues Anthology disc two, with which I am less familiar than some of their other work, then most of Tropical Brainstorm by Kirsty MacColl, always a favorite.

Hit the pool, thinking I'd be the only one there, but no. A man was there with his young daughter. She was probably seven or so. As it was about ten at night my first thought was somewhat judgmental - "why isn't she in bed?" But in between sets of swim team memory inspired assignments to myself (I can hear coach Blackburn saying, "200 IM on the top!" - which means down and back one time each with fly, back, breast, free when the second hand reaches 60), I caught the sounds of them playing and looked over once in a while.

He was being so kind to her, they were having so much fun, and she so obviously loved him and reveled in his attention that it brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to say something like, "God bless you for being so kind and spending your time with your family," or "This time you're giving her now is going to pay off a thousandfold, brother," or "You and the people like you are the people who are really making a difference in the world, my fellow father."

I really thought about actually doing it. But of course I didn't. Who am I, Mr. Rogers? Would it have been appropriate and affirming or just awkward? Knowing myself, most likely the latter. But here's to you, unnamed man. Salud.

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There is about a quarter of a bag of guacamole chips in the pantry at my house. It has been there since before I started going to the gym. I do not eat it. Why not? Because I am in the habit of not eating it.

I like guacamole chips. They're probably my favorite chip in the chip family if such a thing exists. And I certainly do get hungry after dinner, especially if I'm going to watch a DVD with Bride. However, it has now become a habit to go look at the bag, think about the green chalky fingers that would result, and then not eat anything. It's like insurance against late night eating. Weird, but it works.

200

It's just a number in our arbitrary system of measuring things's masses as they interact with Earth's gravity, but I am at it as of this morning. Very exciting. I feel lighter. I remember talking to Chazz when I was interacting with Earth's gravity more to the tune of 210-215 and him saying we should both lose 10%. I thought that was kind of nuts, but now...maybe. 190? Could happen. What would it be like? Would I like it more or less? Maybe I'll find out if I stay on this healthy path.

Yo-GUH! Yo-GUH!

That is how I prefer to spell it for my own reasons. Another great workout last night with Yoguh, elliptical, and pool. Weight 203 this morning. That got as high as 215 this year, so that's pretty good. I'm feeling good.

Oh, also the 15 actual rare tracks from R.E.M.'s somewhat ripoffy 2 disc Best Of 1982-87 make a terrific 45 minute elliptical workout soundtrack. Volume level is very even, drowning out the Lifetime Video Channel "music", on which I've seen each video at least twice now, as well as any cell phone or other conversations going on around me. That's how I workout best. I did have to re-sequence the tracks into chronological order but that was a snap with iTunes. "Decide yourself if radio's gonna stay! Reason it could polish up the grey!" YEAH!

A Whole New Thing

So what I'm doing now is I go to a beginner yoga class whenever my schedule allows and get to the gym about twice a week. I do the yoga class if it's that night then I follow it with the following (or do the following alone with no class):

A) 45 minutes elliptical machine on the "Fat Burn" program. I stay in my easy burnin' zone of 120 HBPM while watching the World Series or Chuck or music videos or political discussion or all of the above. The place has TVs growing out of the ceiling like mildew and (mostly) irritating music on everywhere, including the freaking locker room. I honestly wish it had neither so I could just listen to my magical iPod. Oh well. WPP.

B) 15 laps in the pool. I'll break it down in swim team terms:
25 free
100 breast
200 IM (50 each of fly, back, breast, free)
100 back
200 IM
100 breast
25 free

(25 = one length of the pool.) I start at the deep end and take my rests in the shallow end. Depending on how hard I push myself my heart rate gets up around 170. If I've done the yoga class that night and pool is my third exercise category - guess what? I don't push it that hard.

It's a great workout and I would do it every other day if my schedule allowed. I don't weigh myself every day (good advice, Chazz) but when I weighed myself a couple days ago just out of curiosity I was at 205 fully dressed. That is a big improvement. That's like 2 percent weight loss.

I've also been eating pretty well. I call it the "eat what you feed your children" diet. I get far more fruit than I did as a bachelor and I haven't seen the inside of a Chinese Buffet in, I believe, years. It's pretty much three squares these days as opposed to the starve-gorge-repeat on no predictable timetable. Good times for my body and its interlocking systems. Totally on track now to not run the 2009 Twin Cities Marthon in under four hours, which is, of course, the point.

(Did I even mention on this blog that I joined a gym? I hope so. I did, btw.)

Join The Club

So Bride's company is run by a guy who used to work at a health club. Now we have a sweet deal and have joined the club. So far I have done 25 minutes of eliptical and ten laps in the pool. I think this will be great, but I learned the hard way not to even try to go on a Monday night (parking a nightmare), which is why I am here and not there. Still not going to really test the knees, but I think I will make eliptical then swim part of my weekly routine somewhere in time. May even try to figure out the advertised shuttle bus system and get to the Monday night beginner yoga class, but we'll see. Fool me once...don't mess with Texas.

I Am Not Going To Run

Yeah, I am living up to the title of the blog. I have one of those lingering summer colds that just makes me feel crappy most of the time. My knees don't feel 100%. I am going to try to solve that problem by buying some new everyday shoes tomorrow. I tend to hang on to shoes until they are falling apart and my current pair are no exception and they are providing little to no padding or support. I don't know when I'm going to run or even walk (boring) for exercise again. This has been something of a lost season for me. Me and Michael Cuddyer. I'm pretty much feeling in "maybe next year" mode.

On the positive side, I love winter and am eager for all this bright sunshine requiring sunscreen and all that to be a distant memory. Shoveling will be good and force me to do yoga for the sake of my back. Wow, that was a real stretch as far as positivity goes. Anyway. See ya.

Oh, another positive is that with the stuffed up nose and a sore under my tongue I am not eating a whole lot because it is not enjoyable to eat! Is that really a positive? No, no it is not.

Also, I forgot to bring the list of things I was going to get done on the internet to the library. This has been a typical Tuesday, which means I will be glad when it's over. Unlike yesterday, which was awesome all over the place. Typical Monday of Accomplishment and Purpose.

Walking: Boring

Well, I went for a walk yesterday just like I said I would. I listened (finally) to the iPod playlist Bride made for me. It was fun, but because I was walking not running it ended a little more than halfway through my route.

Hey, know what? Walking alone through a path you've been through many, many times is boring. I wanted to run. I disciplined myself though, and just kept walking. My knees feel fine today. I'll try again tomorrow morning, I think.

Eating

I think for my exercise/diet plan this month I will do the following:

Not go to the State Fair

That should save me some pounds and a few points off my cholesterol while my knees continue to heal for the big return to running next month. Last night I should have gone to bed hungry but I was really hungry after the show so I scavenged some leftover french fries wrapped in corned beef plus trail mix with mini-M&Ms and watched The Princess Bride - a movie that still holds up remarkably well 21 years later.

Still Hurts

I tried a little exploratory running between songs at a recording session on a farm and my knees are acting up today and letting me know that was not necessarily a good idea. The plan now is for a nice, slow walk on Monday, September 1, early in the morning. If nothing else, I will finally get to hear the surprise iPod playlist Bride created and loaded up for me. Weight has been around 208-210.

In Case You Were Wondering

My knees still feel a little twinge every now and then so I am considering shutting it down until September 1st. It's strange, but I feel like I have some new insight into how, say, Michael Cuddyer might feel. Would I feel worse or better if someone were paying me 10 million dollars? Okay, that was a dumb question.

Not Running

A lot of work has been causing Bride to go in to the office at such hours as I would have to get up well before dawn to run. Plus I'm letting the knees have another week or so to recover from dramatic overuse. Hoping all the stars align for Monday, August 11 as a running morning for me.

More Injury: Wounded Knee

Well, my right knee is acting up. As is, to a lesser extent, my left knee. I did maybe overdo it a little, running four times and doing yoga once in an eight day span. But I was restarting my exercise program!

I ran Monday morning and my iPod played everything exactly in order, skipping nothing. I should maybe not have tagged on an extra time around the pond at the end just so I could hear "You're Gonna Miss This" in its entirety. My finishing sprint was non-existent because the knee had been really hurting for a while. It hurt all day and all day the next day, but today (Wednesday) it feels better. Still, if I learned anything from the left big toe it's DON'T PUSH IT. So I'm calling it. No more running this week. Crap.

This is a double shame, because Bride just created a custom iPod playlist for me on her computer and loaded it on to my iPod. Given the fascinating predilections of Bride I am understandably eager to hear it and run to it. Double crap. (I am, of course, forbidden to listen to it until I am running. Duh.)

See you Monday, when it starts again again. Only stronger. And smarter.

Incidentally, I am adding more albums to my running playlist. Steve Winwood's voice and upbeat, encouraging spirit is really working for me, so Traffic's Smiling Phases two-disc best-of is going on there. Also Genesis Invisible Touch - no one does thunderous ear-to-ear toms like Phil Collins.

My iPod Is Causing Magical Thinking

This morning I ran with a couple new tunes on there. I put on "Tears In Heaven" because I have always found that song to be absolutely the perfect tempo and often played it in my mind for long, long periods of time as I ran pre-iPod. I also put on "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins, which made me sob uncontrollably. Thankfully I did not pass anyone while this was playing.

Then, the weird. The iPod shuffle completely skipped the R.E.M. part and most of the Mellow & Catchy to go straight to "We Belong". I want to emphasize that it was NOT on shuffle mode. It should logically have played Judy Collins's "Both Sides Now", which would have allowed me to gain control of myself and finish my run with dignity, if not necessarily a burst of power.

As it is I finished very, very strong with a sprint and as I cooled down and came within sight of my house to see Bride watering our front yard bushes iPod mischeviously threw Juice Newton's "Angel Of The Morning" at me and I sang along as I approached her in her work clothes and she instinctively shrank from the possibility of a sweaty hug, which I am old enough and smart enough not to think would be funny.

So what's the deal, iPod shuffle? Are you trying to control my emotions or what? I don't mind, I'm just asking. If you've become sentient I want to know. I won't do anything about it (I've seen TNG "Measure of a Man" and I know your rights) I just want to know.

More iPod

Despite going to bed before 9 p.m. last night, I was so sleepy this morning that I almost didn't run. Then I thought of the Steve Winwood albums I'd loaded on to the iPod and got up and went. It was a good run. I mostly listened to 1980's Arc of A Diver album. The "keeper" tracks from that are Arc of a Diver, Spanish Dancer, and Night Train. It's interesting to learn what my standards are for music on the run. They are definitely NOT the same as music in the house.

I need lots of snare and toms - lots of pounding. Hi-hat and other cymbals just mess with my pace. The only time tempo is an issue is when there's a constant high frequency ticking - Hi-hat mostly. Catchy hooks and inspiring lyrics. Not lyrics that make me laugh or think, just powerful, emotional encouragement. R.E.M.'s Living Well Is The Best Revenge is working great for me, for example. Very, very different from what I like in the house! I need POWER POWER POWER.

Flying To My Home followed by Arc was as far as I got. Didn't even reach the R.E.M. or Mellow & Catchy segements today. I think I was running pretty fast. I felt like I could have done more, but I just kept to the known, sustainable course. Maybe next week I will add a little bit extra.

I also drew up my exercise chart with the system I described in the previous post. I put an "E" down for July 21, the first day of the rest of my life. Had a great day with the kids - everything right on schedule, good naps, lots of fun. Felt really good all day.

iPod Therefore iRan

So one of my most trusted advisors upgraded from her iPod Shuffle and strongly suggested I take it, as it might be the answer for my recent non-motivation-to-run problems. I was skeptical for three reasons:

1. Inconsistent Mastering. That is, that songs taken from different albums and different artists would be at different volumes and listening to iPod mixes would be a frustrating exercise in the constant need for volume control.

2. Battery Life. Or lack thereof. I could be on a run and the thing would die and then where would I be?

3. Poor Sound Quality. I have listened to CDs for so long (and before that LPs), both of which, when they are done right, leave me with the feeling that I am actually listening to the music as the artist intended. I have not really listened to a lot of mp3s.

But as I loaded it up (which was quite easy – I should have known, it being Mac-based and all) with the songs that have been going through my head recently I got excited about it. I loaded it on a Thursday and took it out Friday (yesterday) morning.

The first, a capella notes of Paul McCartney's "Flying to My Home", an underrated, underheard Flowers in the Dirt B-side, evoked the times during and after college when I would listen to that on my walkman (that's on a cassette single, kids) when I would fly to visit my parents where I lived during high school. Pretty sweet and the stereo separation and the fact that it was right in my ears and that no one else could hear it was all sort of fun and special in a way. It was like my neighborhood and I suddenly became a movie and had a soundtrack.

I started running to that and two other McCartney Flowers-era B-sides, then R.E.M.'s new Live in London 9 song EP came on. It was significantly quieter than the McCartney tracks so I pulled the iPod out of my shirt pocket for the first time, annoyed and thinking my worst fears were coming true. (Well, my worst fear was that I would get distracted and hit by a car. But I think the earphones actually make me more vigilant, if that's possible. Anyway…) I turned it up but then after three songs it stopped dead with a big pop. Stee-rike Two!

I shut it off and back on and when I pressed play it had jumped to Seals & Croft's "Summer Breeze". This was way down the playlist, but I didn't feel like monkeying around with it and just let it go. It was part of the third playlist segment, "Mellow & Catchy" featuring "Precious & Few", "Angel of the Morning", "Both Sides Now", etc. I intentionally named it "Mellow & Catchy" because it sounds a little like a disease. A disease where you can't stop singing "I've looked at clouds from both sides now..." A disease which I've passed along to my wife a couple times in the last few months. "Precious and few are the moments we two can share..." These are songs I can now look back on fondly, even nostalgically, because I do not work as a bank teller anymore and am not subjected to them two and sometimes three times a day.

I had finished the main challenge hill and was coming down the street that my house is on, about a half mile to go. It was a hard run, because I hadn't really exercised much lately. I was getting a slight runner's high and a song came on I didn't immediately recognize. It was all about scaling the mountains in front of us and then…"Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong…where the eagles fly…" and I suddenly GOT IT! I understood why Chazz Vader posts lyrics from songs to which he works out.

I felt as though I was doing something impossibly heroic. I could have cried. I kind of did. The combination of the workout and the music was incredible. Because I am such a funny guy, I had put "We Belong" right after "Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong". This second 80s hit in a row continued the heroic feeling seamlessly.

I finished with a strong, powerful sprint and then the next logical song came on. "Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong"…"We Belong"…wait for it…"Longer". Ha ha! Get it? Yeah. It was a good cool down as I came in to my house to those I have loved "longer than there've been fishes in the heavens" or whatever it is.

It was so great I went out and did it again today, although I made more of an effort to hear the rest of the R.E.M. segment after it stopped dead again in the same place. I'll have to see if I can fix that.

Certain songs, I am finding, are good for running and some are not. I can see myself continuing to experiment and eventually programming a mix that would cause me to whip through my run effortlessly. I can not wait to get back out there again, but I'll probably take tomorrow off to rest my 36 year old knees, who complained a bit today when we started our second day in a row.

With the iPod, I anticipate no further problems (barring injury of course) with keeping up at least an M-W-F schedule of running. I'm going to change the chart on my wall from weight to exercise – just an E in a box for a day I exercised, a P in a box for a day I exercised on the previous day, a W in a box for a weekend (which I have off if I want because I said so), and an L in a box for a day on which I was lazy and did not meet any of those other three criteria. Sweet.

Thanks to my trusted advisor who gave me the iPod and helped me set it up. I get it now. It is really fun. Oh, and the toe? Fine. No pain, good sprints. Injury over.

Lazy

I mostly have stopped running. I had a few very busy days and a few days where I had the kids from sunup to sundown and beyond, which just destroys my energy and my mind. I need to start again. Soon. How to motivate??? "I am not going to run" was not meant to be an absolute.

And Again With The "Next Week"

How many times have I posted a new start date for exercising? But um, next Monday. Yeah. Going to really get out there and see what I can do. The left big toe is still slightly oversized but you know I have to run sometime. I signed up for the 2008 Twin Cities Marathon...5K. So goal? I could say 25 minutes, I guess. Yeah, 25 minutes. That's my goal.

Had lowest weight since weigh-in began - 206 - and have generally noticed weight around 208/209 this month whereas last month was most often (median) 212. So the eating part is working. I have added a microwaveable sausage, egg, cheese biscuit to the training table every morning. I read on the internet that this helps a person feel full all day and my experience suggests it is so. Well, that's probably more than enough computer time. Time to go play with the family.

Lazy Bum

My toe hurt a little more after I did a very, very short run on Friday morning. Expletive! It is frustrating not to be able to run or to feel like I might be hurting myself worse by doing so. I was thinking of running this morning early, but had trouble sleeping related to toddler and perhaps the diet coke I had around 6:30. I think no caffeine after noon or so is going to have to be a rule. It was like I could see through my eyelids. Eyes were closed, but I wasn't asleep and I felt like I could see the room. It looked like the lights were on even though they weren't. Very strange night for me really. Uncommon, thankfully.

Inspired by Tiger Woods winning the U.S. Open in the most dramatic possible way (including a bum knee) I may just run Wednesday morning and the toe can fend for itself. Good luck, toe. I wish you well, but you're coming with me and you'll kick your share of dirt. Gear up.

It's The Eating, Stupid

So here's what I've found. I haven't really exercised much in the last several weeks due to injury. I exercised slightly in Chicago last weekend, but ate like I was on vacation, which I was, and ended up back at 215, my weight when I started the program/blog/etc. Then I ate like I was back at home for four days and dropped to 207 with no exercising at all. I'm going to start exercising again tomorrow morning for real. Yeah. It's all set to go. It's all gonna be great.

What's my point? I guess it's that you don't have to exercise to lose weight, but (I think) it helps. We'll see.

Oh, and Bill - What did you want for a prize? Do you have an Urban Rust CD? That is the default prize due to dramatic overstock at the warehouse, but you can hold out until I finish The Shapely Bottles if you want.

Good Exercise Weekend

35 minutes of eliptical yesterday morning (10, then 15, then 10, with breaks) and 25 this morning (15, then 10 while watching a 25 year old Jets-Dolphins game) plus approximately 1400 miles of walking around downtown Chicago yesterday has left me feeling pretty good. One more morning in the hotel tomorrow, then I think I will try resuming regular running on Wednesday of next week.

I have suspended the new eating habits pretty much. I was basically forced into eating a triple "cheezborger" yesterday at the legendary Billy Goat Tavern deep underground below the Trump Tower. "Step down! Step down! You big guy! You need triple! Yeah, you need triple!" Sure enough, I did. This, I believe, is the place that inspired the Saturday Night Live sketch.

And I had two sausage and egg muffins at the hotel free breakfast. I read on the internet that that is healthier than a low fat bagel with cream cheese and that the protein in the egg can keep you feeling well fed all day, even if meals are erratic, as they can be on vacation.

The Pain Of Idleness

I did not go running this morning as planned because I went for a walk yesterday and I think it aggravated my injured toe ever so slightly. Also I did not technically go to sleep until 6:30 a.m. courtesy of a librarian (and Bride) recommended book I could not stop reading, Isabella Moon. Probably not good for the healing, but the toe was elevated most of the time.

I did, just for fun, start reading a book today called 4 Months to a 4-hour Marathon. It is just a coincidence, I assure you, that the Twin Cities Marathon 2008 is in almost exactly four months. General registration is closed, btw, so even if I wanted to, how could I get in? I would have to have an inside contact who worked with the event. Besides, I am injured! And old! And creaky! Youch!

With this blast shield down how am I supposed to fight?

Strangely for being injured, weight has continued to drop. Now at 208 - lowest yet. Given that I am not exercising, I think I must have changed my eating habits. I do not eat for any reason other than being hungry, and then only before 7 p.m. or so. I am used to going to bed hungry and it doesn't bother me as much anymore. Of course last night at the 400 Bar I did need a few late evening beers to fuel my interpretive dance performance, but that's another story perhaps better left for the music "career" blog.

The First Official "I Am Not Going To Run..." Blog Contest Idea just occurred to me. Who can comment with the source of this entry's title soonest? Will it be you? Will you win an Urban Rust CD? Does anyone want an Urban Rust CD? Does anyone want a box of 25 Urban Rust CDs?

The Flip Side of Discipline

This week I still have the hurt toe, so I am forcing myself to not run. It is very difficult. I (and toddler and child, obviously, since I would have to get up if they didn't) slept in until almost 10 Tuesday and Wednesday. This may sound good, but it is NOT the way to start a succesful, routine (one and the same) day with a toddler and a child. I really, really want to get back out in the mornings to kick start my days. If all continues to heal I will try it out Monday, June 2. I am very tempted to try it tomorrow but don't want to risk further aggravating it.

Strangely enough, with very little aerobic physical activity AND with giving in to temptation last night with a big plate of cheddar cheese melted over (low fat, Target brand) triscuits during TNG, I acheived my lowest number at a weigh in since the beginning of the program, 210. Weird. It would seem, if I am learning anything from this, that I am learning that weight is not a very successful measurement of physical fitness for me.

On The DL

Disabled List, that is. Didn't run this morning. Didn't do yoga. Did the weigh in and was up a couple pounds after not exercising since Thursday afternoon. Now going to go brush my teeth after big meal at 5 p.m. or so and not eat for rest of day. This resembles a twitter more than a blog, I think, but so be it.

Toe still hurts, so am wearing heavy steel toed sneakers most of my waking hours for protection and immobilization. But toe is healing. Intending to resume running one week from today. The Medica nurseline guy was exactly right. Swelling and pain went down, bruising became increasingly livid. At one point last night there was a purple streak all across my toes. Talk to you next Monday, when we return to the more familiar action-packed format.

This Could Lead To Excellence...

...Or Serious Injury
-They Might Be Giants, "Spiraling Shape", Factory Showroom, 1996

(Expletives!!) I had just gotten used to the Monday-Wednesday-Friday 7 a.m. run. I've made eight in a row and not missed one! I thought I would play some racquetball today, Thursday. My foot slid hard into the left wall, my big toe is swollen and painful, and I can not even walk normally. (Expletives! Expletives!)

I hate having medical problems more than anything else I have so far encountered. Well, I might rather have medical problems that computer problems, actually. I mostly hate being forced into a diminished capacity for child care, music, and (expletive-ing) walking!! Bride just got braces and can't really eat and now I can't walk. What a pair. EXPLETIVE!!

On the plus side, Medica had an excellent nurse line service with a real person who was very thorough and an excellent communicator. He said if it had been broken or fractured I couldn't have continued to play on it, which I did for about five dumb, dumb, regrettable minutes. He didn't recommend seeeking out further medical attention and told me roughly what to expect - swelling will go down, bruise will become livid, should continue to return to normal.

Also interesting - The TMBG quote I used to title the post is found remarkably often in blogs as an epigram. (I forgot which song it was from and goodsearched the phrase (for Feline Rescue Inc., St, Paul, Minnesota, incidentally).)

Just When I Needed It Most

Man, it was really hard to get up this morning. I was up much of the night listening to and trying to respond to toddler crying. I didn't actually make it out of bed before bride at any point I don't think, so didn't provide any useful help.

And when I was asleep I was having this dream I have sometimes of trying to visit New York City but getting stuck living in this semi-offshore tower that is mostly black steel girders with no definite walls. I could step any minute into a hole or off the edge and fall dozens of stories into the bay - rocks and waves. There are some vendors of food and clothes, but they're all sort of junky and seem unauthorized in a dangerous way. I can't get anywhere near any part of the city that you'd actually see on tv or in a movie or read about in a book. I can't even get to the ground floor. Somehow I just get hung up in this squatter society for an indefinite period of time. New York City frightens and confuses me.

So I had to get up and go run through this malaise. I had nothing happening in the automatic iPod, so I tried the blues stuff from Friday and it was all I had, so it had to work, I guess. I finished the run and the sprint was strong at the end so it was okay. This was the first day where I honestly didn't want to do it and I just did it because it's the program. Oh, and I weighed what is easily the median (that is, most frequently occurring for those of you who were merely annoyed by statistics class) weight for the program so far, 212. Yawn. I am so not going to run the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours. But I do feel better today than I would have without the run, so that's good.

Automatic iPod Part II

So this morning I started the run with the Bob Dylan song Highway 51 in my mind. (Not Highway 61 Revisited, rather the folk song from his eponymous first album.) Then Elvis' Big Boss Man got in there and Jimmy Reed's "What's Wrong With You" or whatever that song is called. Soon I had a great big shuffle beat going and it was a blues based run. Since I was out in nature and literally didn't see another person on the path the entire time, I sang out loud.

Oh, baby! Honey what's wrong with you?
Whoa, baby! Honey what's wrong with you?
Oh you don't treat me darlin'
Like you used to do

Got me workin' bossman
Workin' around the clock
Want a little drink of water
But you won't let Meffis stop,
Big Boss Man
Oh, can't you hear me when I call
Well you ain't so big
You know you just tall, that's all

Highway 51
Runs right by my baby's door
Highway 51
Runs right by my baby's door
'f I don't get the gal I'm lovin'
I ain't gonna walk down Highway 51 no more!

And so on like this mixing up the songs and characters. It was an extremely upbeat run and I've felt great all day.

My Mind: The Automatic iPod

I don't run with any external music, but this song was going through my head this week:

Friday Night At The Drive-In Bingo, Jens Lenkman

Well worth the $.99 if you are an iTunes user.

Staying the (Other) Course

Just to mix it up this week I tried a different path that's more nature, less automobile exhaust. Eh. It's a little more alone-with-my-thoughts than the road path. I'm so used to being in fight-or-flight and watching for cars that I felt a bit unnerved by the silence, but will probably keep at it as it is probably a good stress buster. Hey, check that out! How many sentences do you see with five words in a row with exactly two letters?

Weight seemed to level off at 212 this week and Chazz suggested weekly rather than daily weigh ins. That's possible.

Snapshot: Last night we went to a favorite restaurant. Here's what I would usually eat there: 1) The majority of the family supreme nachos. 2) A bloody mary. 3) A spicy bean burger with massive-cut fries, both with spicy barbecue sauce. 4) Whatever anyone else didn't finish. On the program which will lead to me successfully not running the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours, I still ate #1. BUT I only drank water and I had a Caesar salad with no meat and left the leftovers for our takeaway carton. I still "skyrocketed" up to 214 this morning, but like Chazz said, that is within normal random fluctuations. And I FELT so much better than when I overeat. Aah. I even played a little bit of basketball at the park immediately after this meal and didn't feel like I was dragging around a second basketball under my shirt. Sweet.

Another Good Run

Got up this morning and ran the sustainable course. Serving breakfast to toddler by 7:45. Mornings are feeling really great now and I feel better all day as a result. I was at 211 this morning after the run, so that's good. During my run I saw a woman in a parking space in a parking lot in her car with the windows closed and the car running. Then this happened in my imagination:

I walked over and tapped on the window and she just shook her head without looking up. I tapped again and she rolled the window down a crack and said, "What?" in a weary voice. I explained to her using metaphors, very moving imagery, and personal anecdotes that it was a sunny, beautiful day and she had a lot to live for. Also that the people who commit suicide are always the wrong people - the good people. Tears began rolling down her cheeks as she saw that I was right. She opened all the windows in her car and put it into gear. As I began to jog away she yelled, "Wait! How can I ever repay you! I don't even know your name!"

I grinned back over my shoulder and said, "Just call me angel of the morning, baby."

I think this daydream is indicative of my mental state this week. Good stuff.

Results

Weighed in at 212 this morning. I didn't eat after six or so last night. The early evening brushing my teeth is working out. Is that the most ridiculous, unnecessary, self-involved sentence that has ever been posted on the internet? Feeling good. I actually feel eager to run tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to it. Crazy.

I Did It Again!

Up and out the door by 7 a.m. this morning, ran the course I think I can sustain. I feel a lot less tired this week, but I feel very, very sleepy. Which is better than tired because then I actually sleep well. Also I invented a fun, indoor game for Child called "Try to keep Daddy awake while he lies on the couch resting his eyes."

At the weigh-in just now I weighed a baffling 215! So three days of exercise and not eating after 8 p.m. and I've...gained a pound. WTF? Oh, maybe it was the entire pizza I had for lunch and dinner yesterday. Remember how I didn't eat it the night before? It worked itself out. A good decision would have been to have left two or three slices for Bride when she got home. Now I'll know. Ha ha ha. As if that were how life works.

Anyway, while running, I thought of another reason I am not going to run the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in less than four hours. When I ran it in 1996 I did not know the area very well, which is an understatement. While they did have mile markers, they did not have much of an effect on my mind. However, now that I have become exponentially more familiar with the layout of the metro area, I imagine having self-challenging thoughts along these lines:

"Dear Lord, I've already run from the Metrodome to Lake Calhoun! Isn't that enough? Now I'm expected to run down to Harriet, then somehow get to the 94 bridge? And then run another eight miles through St. Paul to the Capitol Building!! Lord, not a chance!" At which time I peel off and drive home. (But without getting lost, as I would have had I left the course at any time in 1996.) Contrast this with my thoughts in 1996:

"Ooh, the Metrodome! I've seen that on TV! Hey, this is a nice lake! Wow, there sure are a lot of lakes! And here's a beautiful path along a river. Gee, I wonder what river this is! Is that a donut shop? Mmm. Smells good! Look at all these beautiful homes! And skyscrapers! And people cheering for me! Golly, this is the most beautiful urban marathon in the world! (phrase now trademark of Medtronic TCM). Oh, gosh, I'm done! I think I'll collapse in pain on the lawn of our state capitol building. Aaaah. Perfect! I'm 24!"

Forget it!

So last night Bride ordered two large pizzas and we watched Curb Your Enthusiasm together after the kids were asleep. I flossed and brushed my teeth beforehand so that I would not be tempted, or at least so I would be tempted less, by the pizza. I didn't have my usual five-to-six-slices-of-pizza-I-didn't-need-at-nine-o'clock, plus I went running, remember? (Remember also yesterday morning after that run when I weighed in at 214?) So what was my weight this morning after this radical change in exercise and diet habits? 214. What the frick? I am SO not going to run the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours.

I Did It!

This morning I got up at 6:45, stretched, and ran approximately 2.8 miles. Sweet. I weighed in at 214 and put the first dot on the graph. I'm eating well, I had more patience with child and toddler, I feel better than I did yesterday. Gosh, you'd think I was going to...No. No, I'm not going to run the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours. But I did put a book about how to do so on reserve at the library. Just for research.

I Am Not Going To Run The 2009 Twin Cities Marathon In Under Four Hours

Hello and welcome to the brand new blog from Memphis Evans called "I Am Not Going To Run The 2009 Twin Cities Marathon In Under Four Hours". What is it about? Well. It's exactly what I said. I am not going to run the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours. There is simply no chance of this happening. What is it they say?

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

Well, what if you HAVE a plan, but your plan IS to fail? Where does that leave you? Or what about the following far more open-to-interpretation quote?

"She says there's no success like failure/and that failure's no success at all."

(Bob Dylan, "She Belongs To Me")

Yes, my plan is that I will fail to run the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours. There is no chance of that happening, so put it out of your mind and I will do the same. In the meantime, I am going to try to exercise and become more healthy. Why?

I am aging. I know, for a long time it didn't seem, at least to me, like I was, but now it most certainly does. My hairline is receding. My hair is graying. I sometimes (okay often) have to stop and think of the exact word I know I want to use. I take pride in my large vocabulary, inherited from my father, who used what we kids called "large language" with me from an early age, and I want to maintain it. Also, my voice is changing. When I sing sometimes the range seems smaller and pitch less reliable. Compared to my old recordings it sounds, frankly, somewhat old and fat.

Speaking of which, my weight is higher than it has ever been. I'm a big guy, about 6'2", maybe 6'3", and sometimes when people would ask how tall I was I would say I was 6 foot 4, 220 pounds as a joke to see whether anyone would call me on it. Well guess what. It's not a joke anymore. I have actually seen the evil, red, digital 220 staring back at me on the scale. My bones ache. My back aches. When I DO run I feel like there's a lead weight strapped to my stomach. Hell, when I play MINIATURE GOLF I chafe my elbows on my gut, for god's sake.

I look at pictures of myself from 2002 and I look young, thin, vibrant. I look at pictures of myself from 2008 and I look old, double-chinned, overweight, and exhausted.

So blah, blah, blah. It happens to everybody, or at least most people, and like my dad always says about aging, "It's better than the alternative!" True. But so that's where I'm at.

"What are you going to do about it? That's what I'd like to know!"

(Paul Simon, "Gumboots")

Well, what I'm going to do about it is four things.

One. I'm going to write this blog, probably around once a week. It's not a new idea. In fact, it's an idea that a very close friend of mine has had radical, life altering, highly inspiring success with in the last couple years. Visit ChazzVader.com when you're done here. His story is amazing. You could consider this, if I'm successful, a "cover" blog in the same way that when I sing "Suspcious Minds" it is a "cover" song. Like Chazz, I welcome your comments, encouragement, and stories of your own. (I will not, however, post anonymous comments. They always strike me as lazy.)

Two. I'm going to weigh myself every day, or close to it. And I made a graph of weight over time that I've hung on my bedroom wall. It's not elegant, but it's right above the scale. I can't miss it on my way out to go running.

Three. I'm going to go running and/or do yoga. I won't say I'll do it every day because I won't. I think I'll set an initial goal of three times a week. Yeah, that sounds good.

Four. I'm going to try to make good decisions about food. I LOVE eating chips, popcorn, bacon, bratwurst, etc. Especially while I watch tv. Every day I face food decisions and I usually go to the dark side. If chips are served with a sandwich I HATE leaving them on the plate. I feel like they will be sad chips and "go to waste" if I just throw them out. Perhaps I will put a gold star on the wall graph if I make good decisions about food or something.

So that's it. That's where we're at. Let's see where we go. And remember: I'm not going to run the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours. There is just absolutely no way, so just leave it alone!

What's that? Yes, it's true, I finished the 1996 Twin Cities Marathon. I have the official "finishers only" t-shirt and the medal is around here somewhere. But I was only 24 years old! My metabolism was, I now realize, jaw droppingly fast or high or however the very, very easy end of that continuum is described. I probably weighed about 160 and didn't even own a scale. I could eat Chinese Buffet four times a week, and often tacked on one or two entire frozen pizzas at night while watching two episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation on a tv that was not only not High-Def, but was actually not In Color! It was that long ago.

Yes, I was behind the times. I mean, there WERE color televisions, I just didn't have one. Didn't even HAVE the black and white one, just borrowed it for a few years. And anyway, even then, with the race horsey/greyhound metabolism, the 24 year old body, and all the time in the world to train, I still finished just barely under FIVE hours and I was crying in pain when I finished. So let's be clear. I think I will be able to get healthier, maybe even get below 200 pounds, maybe live longer so I maximize my time on earth with my family, but I'll say this one more time:

There is no way I will finish the 2009 Twin Cities Marathon in under four hours.